Chinigamis only eat apples.

I haven't had a peeled apple in so long.

Today, on an impulse, I grabbed the trash can, an apple, and a peeler. As I tried to keep from slicing my fingernails off in the process, I realized how long it's been since I've had the time to chop up an apple and eat it with a fork. It's not that I haven't had time. I always find it strange when people "don't have time" to do something that takes only a minute or so. That's just exhaustion speaking.

And I know that's what everyone else my age is feeling. College apps, cranky econ teachers, and helicopter parents--what more can go wrong, really?

When I was in middle school, my grandma used to live a block away. She'd come over before I got back from school and she'd have made noodles or brought fruit or strange Asian snacks. I remember not liking her cooking--the noodles were usually soggy and the vegetables a sad brown color. When she chopped apples, she dipped them in salt water to keep them from turning brown. I hated the watered-down taste and usually left them for my brother to eat.

It makes me sad knowing I didn't appreciate having a warm, home-cooked meal in front of me. Or that I didn't eat those apples--my grandma knows I love apples. Now I come home and stare at the empty fridge. Maybe grab some Nature Valley bars or crunch one of those brown pear-apple doohickies. Packaged, simple food.

It's an incredibly lonely feeling, and even honey oat bars get old after a while.

Side notes:
My grandma is still alive and healthy ~knock on wood~
Yes, I know it should be "Shinigami." It is a pun. If you don't understand it, you don't know me.