Conversion

I've decided to shake things up a little.

Rather than continue posting day after day of interesting little side jokes and epiphanies, I think I'll try to blog about things more relevant to the world we live in. I'm aware that if you have enough time to check this blog on a daily basis, you're pretty much either a netmonger or a hardcore fan. Fans are appreciated, but I gotta be honest. The Eyrie is low-key. There are probably like...two of you. Meanwhile, someone like Perez Hilton, who blogs about the lives of a few people who just happen to be in the eye of society because they're attractive, gets a backlog of traffic every day.

Sometimes, a person reaches a point in his life where he suddenly realizes that everything he's been doing up to that point is pretty much useless. I'm sick of clicking through my manga bookmarks in hopes of an update, and I no longer wish to lurk on forums while being influenced by the opinions of others.

As a high school senior, I wonder how I could have so much time on my hands and so much work at the same time. I get my work done, but my mental state is just all over the place in the periods I assign for mental relaxation. I've found that I spent that leisure time sitting in front of my computer thinking "what happened today?" and wondering what I could have done differently to make things turn out better. There's nothing wrong with self-reflection, but it's pretty depressing when all you can concentrate on are failures.

Psychologically, I think it'd be healthier if I took my net-surfing time and dedicated it to making one productive post a day. It might take a reader two minutes to scan this, but you all have to know that journalists and other authors of media agonize over word choice for hours to provide you the entertainment of a few seconds. I'm sure you're all aware of this, being enrolled in English classes that (of course) comport to the standard of No Child Left Behind.

In the spirit of Obama '09, it's time for a change.

Chinigamis only eat apples.

I haven't had a peeled apple in so long.

Today, on an impulse, I grabbed the trash can, an apple, and a peeler. As I tried to keep from slicing my fingernails off in the process, I realized how long it's been since I've had the time to chop up an apple and eat it with a fork. It's not that I haven't had time. I always find it strange when people "don't have time" to do something that takes only a minute or so. That's just exhaustion speaking.

And I know that's what everyone else my age is feeling. College apps, cranky econ teachers, and helicopter parents--what more can go wrong, really?

When I was in middle school, my grandma used to live a block away. She'd come over before I got back from school and she'd have made noodles or brought fruit or strange Asian snacks. I remember not liking her cooking--the noodles were usually soggy and the vegetables a sad brown color. When she chopped apples, she dipped them in salt water to keep them from turning brown. I hated the watered-down taste and usually left them for my brother to eat.

It makes me sad knowing I didn't appreciate having a warm, home-cooked meal in front of me. Or that I didn't eat those apples--my grandma knows I love apples. Now I come home and stare at the empty fridge. Maybe grab some Nature Valley bars or crunch one of those brown pear-apple doohickies. Packaged, simple food.

It's an incredibly lonely feeling, and even honey oat bars get old after a while.

Side notes:
My grandma is still alive and healthy ~knock on wood~
Yes, I know it should be "Shinigami." It is a pun. If you don't understand it, you don't know me.